Alternate title: A Clockwork Orange
Since Tuesday night I’ve been writing this in my head and in scattered notes. I knew the only way I could flush some of the mental and emotional toxins out was to write, but this has been my first chance.
This post will in no way be well-organized or developed, but it needs to be written and shared.
Tuesday night I got roughly three hours of sleep. Things were looking bad as I went to bed at 11:00 p.m. CST, but results had not come in for key swing states: Florida, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, where I live. It took me about an hour to get to sleep. I woke later and thought it must be close to the alarm. It wasn’t; it was 2:30 a.m. I unfortunately could not resist checking the election results. The shock and horror of it all kept me up until I finally drifted off for maybe an hour.
I teach at a women’s college, and my first class was at 8:00 a.m. I’d already commiserated with coworkers, most of whom had reassured me on Monday that there was no way Trump could win, that it would be a landslide for Hillary. They had been more focused on the Johnson/Feingold senate race (another disappointment). One coworker asked if I’d ask the students if they wanted to talk about the election. I told him I wasn’t sure; I do my best not to make students feel I’m pushing a political agenda, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid making certain comments if the floodgates were opened.
In class I decided to jump right in to what I had planned for the day. They had a rough draft of the current essay due, and were peer reviewing. We’d discussed one of the articles they had to read, and all was on track. Then as they finished their peer reviews, I heard several of them talking with each other about the election. They all seemed devastated. For many of them, it was their first chance to vote for president. The college I teach at is also diverse, with students from different races and economic backgrounds. They shared their fears and stories from election night. I’ve been teaching for 15 years, and this is the first presidential election that has so emotionally affected my students. Eventually, it became a class discussion. We all felt as if classes should be canceled, as if it were 9/11. Hillary’s concession speech was due, and a few students kept their tablets open, eagerly awaiting it.
What I’ve been feeling and thinking, that night, Tuesday, and now:
shock, disappointment, fear, disgust, sadness, anger, disbelief, confusion, shame, embarrassment, let down, betrayed
I’m thinking of creating a post-election hope and comfort playlist of music.
I refuse to refer to Trump as president. It’ll just be “Trump.”
There goes my affordable health insurance.
I hate that no matter how awfully he ruins America and people come to regret voting for him, he’ll always have been elected president. There’s no changing that.
Even if something were to happen to him, we’d only be stuck with Pence.
I’m thinking of looking for or writing some political RPF featuring Trump and his cronies, maybe a Survivor fusion in which they all turn to cannibalism. That would literally be the best case scenario.
I will now have to avoid the news for the next four years. Except I need to know how I’ll be affected and what to rally around.
I liked Hillary’s concession speech; it made me hopeful and emotional. She’d be 10x the leader he will (or won’t) be.
We didn’t get to see the literal glass ceiling “break” at the venue Tuesday night, or the planned fireworks.
I have not seen his victory speech.
Where/how to write to the Clinton camp and express condolences, gratitude?
In looking for a ray of hope/light, I’ve been trying to put this election in historical context (older friends and neighbors have helped)–all the terrible, destructive leaders and dictators in the past that we’ve weathered. We’re still here. Only the experience for those living under that role was awful, and even deadly.
Trump’s rise has seriously made me understand the rise of Hitler. Not kidding. Preying upon a country’s fears and using hatred to rally.
46% of those eligible didn’t vote. Fuck ya’ll. However, this does put into perspective that only about 25% of the country actually voted for Trump.
Against expectations, plenty of women and people of color voted for him–against their own best interests.
I shudder to think who’ll be nominated for the Supreme Court.
He makes me think maybe Bush wasn’t so bad. Maybe Richard Nixon wasn’t so bad.
It’s as if an official stamp of approval has been given to misogyny, racism, and prejudice generally. Hate has become sanctioned.
How much of a role did sexism–conscious or unconscious–play?
The Trump campaign has perverted the rhetoric of “change.” I think American’s already great. Compare his “Make America Great Again” with Obama’s “Yes We Can” and Hillary’s “Stronger Together.”
I’m not only worried for America, but the rest of the world, especially our allies. You’re about to be treated like shit. Havoc is about to be wreaked.
How many people didn’t vote because of new, strict voter ID laws meant to fight a non-existent voter fraud problem?
This is the biggest mistake America’s ever made–worse than the Vietnam War.
Finally, SNL this weekend should be interesting. Alec Baldwin’s Trump has been funny, but I have a feeling this time there will be booing. Thank God for Dave Chappelle hosting.
Somebody hold me for four years!